are you the muffin man ???? random child

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“HEWWO!” The young sabertooth waited for a returning yell, cupping a paw to xyr ears. Xe frowned and huffily sat down. The freshly fallen snow stuck to xyr fur, but xe didn’t feel the cold at all. It actually felt nicer than the hotter wildlands xe’d lived in with xyr family since AE’d dissolved.

Above him, a cavernous mouth resembling a snake loomed, as if ready to eat xem. Clearly, the child’d investigated the Coalition’s territory for a smidge too long and wandered a smidge too far, but xe’d been curious! I’td been over a month since he’d had proper candy.

“HEWWO!” xe shouted again. Xyr rounded ears perked up, and he thought xe heard paws in the snow. Grinning around xyr big fangs, xe cupped xyr big paws to his muzzle and shouted, “HEWWO, I AM SIMPLE CANDY SEAKER!

“My name’s Wuyi! I visited y’all during your Monster Bash event, but then things got all complicated when AE disappeared and I’ve been living in the hot ever since, and also, you guys moved, like? When did that happen?! Anyway. I’m Wuyi—did I already say that—and I’m really hungry for sweets! Do you guys have any? You had a lot in autumn, but, of course, you know that, with the whole festival thing you did.”

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BRUTEI TSUNE

"HELLO!" He called out in his damned feminine voice, pushing his way past the snowy bushes toward the smilodon. "Yes, hello, I can hear you, kid." he chuckled. This kid was loud.

He looked down at the cub and tilted his head in a grin. "Okay, so. I don't remember the Halloween Event too much, so you don't look familiar to me. My name is Brutei. We did indeed move, and I'm loving this cold weather right now. I don't think I could survive in a hot climate like you came from."

He waved his paw a bit absent-mindedly, "I don't actually know if we still have candy, so sorry I can't be of any help with that."

MORTAL KINGS ARE RULING CASTLES,
WELCOME TO MY WORLD OF FUN!

— Reggan

Gremlin hadn't been expecting anyone to start yelling out "hewwo" and it made his only in tact ear twitch lightly, a frown on his mind. Did they fucking mind? He was trying to sleep, a loud huff left him as he slipped on one of his fur coats that had been given to him by Ninazu. His gaze was a sleepy one as his lips curled in a grumpy manner as his teeth shone in the light, he approached the child and Brutei watching through a single squinted eye as he tried to adjust to the sunlight that was around them currently. This booger of a child was asking for candy? Grem knew it wasn't Halloween or that's what he thought anyways, he couldn't help as Brutei began to say how he could handle the cold but not the heat "Good to hear you love the weather, Frozone." Remarked the smaller man rather sarcastically as he drew near with his spotted tail lashing to the sides. "I'd personally prefer if my ass wasn't still thawing from the cold," It was crude of him to say that when there was a child present but, Gremlin hardly gave any fucks.

With whiskers twitching lightly as Brutei answered the candy inquiry, the Asian leopard cat would sit there raising a nonexistent eyebrow before speaking with a light shrug "I'm sure someone who does have candy will show up though... I'm a bit doubtful... But that might be a good thing since cavities are a pain in the ass!" A soft chuckle left his maw as he used a claw to scratch at his chin in a brief moment of thought, he couldn't think of any candy addicts that were within the Coalition. As much as he liked candy, he only kept a few pieces and even then... It was solely for himself. Not some snot nosed rando of a kid that decided to walk all the way over here. Maybe Kuragori had candy? He couldn't recall entirely, he shook his head to get the bird out of his mind.

BURN
BRIGHT

The kingpin’s right eyebrow twitched. This child—apprentice aged, she saw, when she squinted—had an obnoxious voice, and no ability to put a sock in it, evidently. Even so, xe was the member of an allied group, even if that group had been dissolved… and she’d given the child her own candy, though Ninazu doubted xe’d recognize her in this new body. It was far less bright than her last one, despite the bioluminescence.

“Wuyi? So that’s your name. I believe you forgot to introduce yourself when you came for the Monster Bash.” She glanced at Brutei and Gremlin with a little shrug; the kid was telling the truth, but, beyond that… ugh, if he screamed again, she would want to tear his throat out herself.

“Ah, Bai Shi’s group?” The snow leopard asked, voice smooth as silk. As though she had no recollection of capturing Bai Shi and torturing the dragon a year ago. “I wondered what became of our ally. We missed their–your group’s—support. Mind telling me what happened with them?”

Her fluffy tail curled around one paw, and the kingpin’s eyes narrowed. Ah, where were her manners? She’d asked her questions without giving xem a proper answer. “Sorry, kid. No candy on me now, though I believe there’s a stash or two in camp. You planning on staying long, or are you just passing through?” Hell, Ninazu wasn’t above manipulating an idiot, candy-loving child. If xe was that obsessed with candy, then there might be an easy way to throw the big-eyed, big-mouthed kiddo at the groups that would awwww at such antics.

© MADI

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The sabertooth cat beamed up at Brutei. “It’s aight, I don’t recognize you either! But I like the cold here, too. It’s not all… stuffy!… like back home.” Xe frowned, squinting slightly, as Brutei continued with unfortunate news about the candy situation. Wuyi visibly deflated, his wings drooping and the longest feathers brushing the snow. “No candy? I guess I should look somewhere else…”

Xyr frown deepened when a shorter male showed up, followed by a snow leopard whose markings made xem double-take. Looked more like a glowy, tropical pattern, rather than a winter one. Ah well. Xe wasn’t rude enough to be weird about appearances—especially since xe thought xyr goofy big teeth put others off when xe talked.

Of course, Wuyi was wrong about that, because xe simply talked a mile a minute.

“Why would cavities be a pain? Like, isn’t it normal to regrow your teeth all the time? Because I do! My teeth grow in all the time, except the big ones? But I guess I haven’t lost either of the big ones. But the small ones? Oh boy those things fall out aaaaaall the time, especially when I eat candy! But I haven’t gotten candy recently, which is sad, because I miss it a lot, like I miss my home, you know? It’s all weird when you lose your home and a mom and your grandpa in, like, what, an afternoon? It sucks, okay, and I just want some fucking candy?! Is that even too much to ask for?”

By the end, Wuyi huffed out the last of xyr air and needed to take a breathing break. Xe eyed the kingpin with a squint. “You knew my grandpa? And, yeah, I guess we disappeared all abruptly-like, but it’s ‘cause those bandits attacked, and we thought we were prepared, but obviously we weren’t, and it was chaotic as fuck all! Ah, shit, I swore—fuck, I did it a second, no, a third time! Ahhhhh, Bai Shi and moms would kill me if they heard me….” Wuyi trailed off, completely forgetting what Ninazu asked and what most of the three had said.

“Anyway!” he chirped, smiling around his big sabertooth teeth. “You got a stash or two of candy? Good enough for me! I’ll stay. Maybe? I’ll eat all the candy and decide later, how about that?”

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