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06-05-2020, 05:44 PM
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Granted, but the stores are conveniently out of lip balm every time you want to buy some. I wish my guinea pig could speak English.
06-05-2020, 06:22 PM
Granted. Your guinea pig can now speak English, but to your absolute horror, you discover that he's from the United Kingdom.
I wish that Amazon wouldn't fuck up my orders, because I really wanted that one thing to be delivered but it DIDN'T COME.
06-05-2020, 07:56 PM
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what the HELL Granted. Amazon doesn't fuck up your orders at the expense of every other company you order from fucking up your orders instead! I wish I wasn't lactose intolerant. 
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06-06-2020, 01:49 PM
The genie grants your wish! You're now not lactose intolerant, but instead straight up allergic to lactose. No more taking Lactaid and toughing it out... I wish I could summon a weapon on command.
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