08-14-2018, 03:56 AM
12. Strength
Dimitri didn’t consider himself to be strong. He thought of strength in the physical manner, someone who was tough and scrappy. Someone who was brave and didn’t mind taking on a dog or fighting over food. Dimitri had once thought his father to be strong in that sense. His father had dominated him and took control of him, and he was too weak to fight back.
Dimitri thought of Delta and Darby as being strong. Delta had no problems with turning into a tiger and roughing someone up. Darby jumped off things and loved the rush of adrenaline and the hunt! He went to them when he wanted help on his confidence and what to do in some situations. Or just. Ya know. Let them handle the problem.
Was that a healthy way to handle that? Had his brain ever had a healthy way to handle anything?
Dimitri thought of his mother as being weak. She hadn’t ever touched him, but she had hurt him emotionally. She never stood up for him, never defended him. She was too selfish and too worried about herself to ever give him any love or attention. She took her dad’s beatings with a cigarette in her mouth. Maybe she never cared.
His alters, once, trying to cheer him up, told Dimitri that he was strong and that he was gonna make it. They were there to support him. They told him he was strong for enduring so much, but Dimitri found that to be a farce because he was not strong, not for endurance, because he had never fought back.
"speech"
Dimitri didn’t consider himself to be strong. He thought of strength in the physical manner, someone who was tough and scrappy. Someone who was brave and didn’t mind taking on a dog or fighting over food. Dimitri had once thought his father to be strong in that sense. His father had dominated him and took control of him, and he was too weak to fight back.
Dimitri thought of Delta and Darby as being strong. Delta had no problems with turning into a tiger and roughing someone up. Darby jumped off things and loved the rush of adrenaline and the hunt! He went to them when he wanted help on his confidence and what to do in some situations. Or just. Ya know. Let them handle the problem.
Was that a healthy way to handle that? Had his brain ever had a healthy way to handle anything?
Dimitri thought of his mother as being weak. She hadn’t ever touched him, but she had hurt him emotionally. She never stood up for him, never defended him. She was too selfish and too worried about herself to ever give him any love or attention. She took her dad’s beatings with a cigarette in her mouth. Maybe she never cared.
His alters, once, trying to cheer him up, told Dimitri that he was strong and that he was gonna make it. They were there to support him. They told him he was strong for enduring so much, but Dimitri found that to be a farce because he was not strong, not for endurance, because he had never fought back.
"speech"
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
There's a shadow hanging over me
———— @Owlie & Elysium & info