08-08-2018, 07:13 PM
8. alone
He felt like no one was there for him when he was young. When the suffering started. He remembered his father, a large brown tom, He… didn’t quite remember how he made Dagon or what led up to it- he remembered the pain of splitting. It hurt when Dagon split, more so than the others. He had figured that that was because Dagon was a persecutor. Before that? He’d been curled alone in the trash heap he had called a bed. Cardboard and little bits of metal that stuck in his sides.
He remembered not knowing it was wrong, for a long time. He remembered being accepting of what his father had done to him. His dad cooing and trying to coax his crying son. That it was suppose to hurt and that this was okay. He remembered trying so hard to appease him and do what he said.
He was never able to make him happy. When he tried to seek help from others, they had shoved him off and told him to ask his mom. He asked his mom, tried to get an explanation if this was the right thing and if it was suppose to hurt. His mom told him to just do whatever his father said as he watched his mother continue in her drunken stupor.
He wondered if he ever had siblings. Cats normally had more than one kitten, why didn’t he have any brothers or sisters? Why was he alone? He asked his mother about this once. Her reply? “Yeah. I don’t know. Probably dead or somethin’.” So, he had siblings?
If so, why didn’t she care?
Maybe that was something he had wanted for a long time. He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted a family and friends that loved him and were around him. Maybe that was why he had started boxing up feelings and started imagining friends and other people to talk to. Nice people. Anything to escape. Anything at all. Dimitri had wanted a way out.
Dagon found that way out to be running away. He didn’t regret it and he much more doubted that Dimitri would care. They had nothing to their name and no one to rely on on Eve after escape, they were a lonely kitten. It was the four of them- Dimitri, Dagon, Dakota, and Delta. That period was fuzzy for him. He knew he had met someone in their that had given them their journal and told them to read and write. Another stranger had told them about God. Even so… childhood had been lonely. Fighting other, larger cats in the city for food. Being thin and dirty. Donovan fighting to keep them clean. Discovering their shapeshifting and having the opportunity to become top cat among the city… But Dagon and Delta said they had to move to new territories. Somewhere they wouldn’t attract attention. They’d been alone and hadn’t stepped into the woods until they were 15 moons old.
He felt like no one was there for him when he was young. When the suffering started. He remembered his father, a large brown tom, He… didn’t quite remember how he made Dagon or what led up to it- he remembered the pain of splitting. It hurt when Dagon split, more so than the others. He had figured that that was because Dagon was a persecutor. Before that? He’d been curled alone in the trash heap he had called a bed. Cardboard and little bits of metal that stuck in his sides.
He remembered not knowing it was wrong, for a long time. He remembered being accepting of what his father had done to him. His dad cooing and trying to coax his crying son. That it was suppose to hurt and that this was okay. He remembered trying so hard to appease him and do what he said.
He was never able to make him happy. When he tried to seek help from others, they had shoved him off and told him to ask his mom. He asked his mom, tried to get an explanation if this was the right thing and if it was suppose to hurt. His mom told him to just do whatever his father said as he watched his mother continue in her drunken stupor.
He wondered if he ever had siblings. Cats normally had more than one kitten, why didn’t he have any brothers or sisters? Why was he alone? He asked his mother about this once. Her reply? “Yeah. I don’t know. Probably dead or somethin’.” So, he had siblings?
If so, why didn’t she care?
Maybe that was something he had wanted for a long time. He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted a family and friends that loved him and were around him. Maybe that was why he had started boxing up feelings and started imagining friends and other people to talk to. Nice people. Anything to escape. Anything at all. Dimitri had wanted a way out.
Dagon found that way out to be running away. He didn’t regret it and he much more doubted that Dimitri would care. They had nothing to their name and no one to rely on on Eve after escape, they were a lonely kitten. It was the four of them- Dimitri, Dagon, Dakota, and Delta. That period was fuzzy for him. He knew he had met someone in their that had given them their journal and told them to read and write. Another stranger had told them about God. Even so… childhood had been lonely. Fighting other, larger cats in the city for food. Being thin and dirty. Donovan fighting to keep them clean. Discovering their shapeshifting and having the opportunity to become top cat among the city… But Dagon and Delta said they had to move to new territories. Somewhere they wouldn’t attract attention. They’d been alone and hadn’t stepped into the woods until they were 15 moons old.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
There's a shadow hanging over me
———— @Owlie & Elysium & info