I FOUND JESUS, WHAT A LIAR ― open, panic attack

and then there were more people crowded around him. vigenere and nayru. of course, nayru had to be there. he would die and he hoped she was the last thing he'd see. was she the only person who cared about him? probably. "i'm not having a god damn panic attack, i'm fucking dying here," he said, but then realized it had been about ten minutes since his chest hurt and heart attacks generally happened very quickly.

"fuck you," he said, in a panicked daze towards nayru. "i'm dying- dying, and you're gonna give me tea," he spat out, then took a deep breath. "sorry. i un-fuck you, nayru. i'm just... scared." he admitted for the first time in his miserable life. "i'm gonna die surrounded by you assholes," he grumbled. despite his insistence on death, the return of his vulgar language showed that he was coming back to terms with the world, grounding himself.